FOOKING FANGALICIOUS
by JaJimmeh
Summary: Descretion: The flocks guts a new member named Shazam. What will happen when Shazam joins the fock? Also there is another new flock member named Jennifer (thats you babe! :D) Join them on there adventures!
1. Shazam gets captured

Maximum Ride  
Descretion: The flocks guts a new member named Shazam. What will happen when Shazam joins the fock? Also there is another new flock member named Jennifer (thats you babe! :D) Join them on there adventures!

-d

Okay jennifer I know u rejected me but maybe this will make you change your mind. PLEASE. I love you please. I WROTE you this awesome story about maximus ride and there werent any good girls on the flock (exempt for Angel and Noge but Im not A PEDROPHILE). so I decided to make your a character on the story. PLEASE accept it as a taken of my love.  
~jim  
Where is chapter one.  
Crackter 1 Shazam gets captured  
Shazam was walking down the street one day. He was wearing faded blue jeans and a blue t shit with a picture of Miley Cyrus on it on the front and a picture of Ariana Grande and a picture of Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood on the back. The sky was gray and dark and stormy and there was thunder. Shazam walked down the street then all of a sudden...tow guys jumped out of the ally and grabbed him!  
"YOUR CUMMING WITH US MOTHERFUCKER!" screamed the guys.  
Shazam tired to get away but they had him a strong hold and he couldnt. So the guys dragged him down the street in too the ally and then in the back of the alley there was this door. The door was rusty and dirty and it was small like approximately 4 by 2 feet.  
"LET ME GO MOTHERFUCKERS!" rored Shazam.  
"NO!""  
The guys opened the door then they took Shazam inside and inside it looked like a science lab there was Bunsen burneds and fancy sciency shit everywhere. The guys took Shazam and they took him and strapped him to a metal table and tied him down. With ropes. The ropes were chaffed against his wrists and Shazam started to cry "please please let me go"  
Then the guys got a knife and stood over Shazam "Say your prayers" but Shazam was antethesis "bye" they stood over him them brought the knife down onto his body. It want right into his hart. They started tarring into his body and ripping it apart and there was blood and gore every whore, and the blood made a pile the size of lake erie, and Shazam was dead. The machine flatlined. Then the guys did some brutally bloody surgery and removed his heart and switched it out for a machine thingy, also they changed his eyes, and they did some other confidential secret top secret stuff. They put his cloths back on and then put the blood back in his body and he came back to life. But they also gave him amnesia so he would forgot what had happend and they put him back out in the street. He was in the street and didn't remember anything what had happened.


	2. 10 years later

**This isnt a parody and what do you mean by "salty" is that a way of saying drunk or on drugs or something becuz I not**

Cracker 2 10 years later  
It was 10 years later Shazam was 15 and he was wearing the same faded jeans but they were more faded then before because he had been whoring them for 15 years and he was wearing the same shirt but it now also had on Miranda Lamberts face because he discovered he liked country music. He was. Homeless. Because he forgot to paid his bills nad stuff so they kicked him out of the house. Anwyays he wash homeless so he was walking around in the street begging for money. He had a guitar which was his only thing in the world and also a money thing for people to put the money in when he was playing which was his only other thing in the world.  
"Wish I could be just a little less dramatic  
Like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames  
Leave it to me to be holdin' the matches  
When the fire trucks show up and there's nobody else to blame"  
he started to sing and played the guitar along with it. Everyone in the street started dancing then they all threw in some money into his money thing because his music was fucking fantastic and if he wasnt homeless he should have been the #1 contrary singer of the year. He had just enough money to buy a food from Mcdonalds so he went, and, while he was there he got a big mac and like 10 things of french fires, then while he was eating he saw some guys. They were kids. And one of them was a guy who was his age, also there were 2m ore guys whore his age, also there was a girl who was like 10 and another girl ho was like 7 and a guy who was also 8. They looked weird so he went over too them and sat down on their table "HOLLA" he said.  
They looked at him "Hey"  
"Hey" he said then they recognized his voice "Youre that famous cunty singer arent you they said approvingly "We love youre music."  
"REALLY?"  
"Yeah Im fang" said the oldest guy he had black hair black eyes black cloths and black pants, and his shoes were black converse shoes, "and this is Max" next to him as another guy with blond hair "and thats Iggy" and long blond hair"and thats Nudge" a blake girl with pigtails "and Angle" the little 7 year old girl with blond hair and "Gassy" the guy who was 8. "We fucking love your music want to travel with us. we do music sometimes too. Ok?"  
"YEAS" said Shazam happily.  
They gut in there car and left Mcdonalds with there leftovers and Shazam shored his fries and the other dudes let him eat ice cream which he couldnt afford because he was homeless. Because.. Ice cream was to expensive.  
They got in the car and Max drove. He was a good driver like he could probably drive for Nascar or something.  
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"  
They drove around and Max drove the car up a wall which defined gravity, but they didnt care, also they drove at 3000 miles a hour and then went upside down. They went into a roller coster and it was so much fun but then that stupid bitch Gassy got sick and they had to stop. Nudge and Angle had to leave to make Gassy get clean which was stupid. And they had to get a new car because there old one smelled like thrown up.  
Then when there were done cleaning and getting new car, they drove to there house. It was in Chicago so it was a really long way away, BUT, Max drove real fast so they got there in only 2 hours. When they got there Shazam was real happy because he had never been in a house before "Guys this is fucking awesome!" He went in the house and he had HIS. OWN. ROOM. (Authors note I have to share a room with my sister Stephenie even though shes 12 and Im 15 and it SUCK.) He went into his own room and did showers and stuff then did some music and sang to miranda lambert music and then went to bed and fell asleep while the miranda lambert music was still playing. It was the best sleep hed ever had because for once he wasnt sleeping in a trash can with stuff smelling like garbage and hobos raping him in his sleep.


	3. The secret

**I am not faking to be ignorance I rally didnt know what salty meant. I did looked up in the dictionary so no I know what it means. It means to be tasting of salt or to be rude. which I am not. Also I never put ***** an my story.**

Carpet 3 The secret  
"Shazam...we have a big secret to tell you"  
It was the next morning and they were eating breakfast (pancakes, syrup, waffles, shit) and Fang was talking to Shazam after all the others had left the table. "We have a big secret to tell you but YOU CUNT TELL ANYONE ELSE."  
"Ok" said Shazam  
"We are..actually not humans" said Fag  
Shazam looked surprised "what"  
"We are actually human bird creates and we have wings" Fag took off his shirt he had really hot abs that Shazam didnt think they were sexy because hewas a guy but he wished his abs looked liek that "See" He had turned around he had 16 foot wings attached to his back. "And we can fly" He flew. They were inside the house but the roof was really high ceiling so he could fly without breaking it. It was fucking fantastic.  
"Wow man that was fucking fantastic"  
Fag went back to the ground then he and Shazam did a high 5.  
"Will u fly me around said Shazam.  
"Yeah sure"  
Fang flew up of the ground and took off and Shazam grabbed onto his angle. He was...flying! It was so awesome he could see New York City from here. His hart was beating really fast it was weird. And he was sweating.  
He went up.  
Then started too fall!  
"HELPPPPPPPPPP" he cried.  
He was falling then just before he landed on the ground and hit with an enormous impact and his brains and guts went splattering across the ground, Fag flew down and caught him. He was safe in his arms and Fang flew him back safely to the ground and pot him down. "Hehe thanks" said Shazam happily "I want to do that again"  
"Fag frowned "You almost dyed"  
After that they where best friends.


	4. Band practice

Captor 4 Band practice  
Iggy was in his room then Fang and Shazam went in there  
"Heyo" said Iggy  
"Heyo" said Fag and Shazam  
"Were here for band practice" said Fag then he took out his flute and Shazam took out his guitar and they started playing music. Iggy got out his music instrument thingy but I cant think of what instrument he would play so I just said instrument thingy for now. "Iggy is a famous singer his names is Actually iggy Azalea but we changed it and we changed him too a guy so people wont know who he is" he explained "because we get shitty paparazzi people chasing us all the fucking time" he explained then Iggy took out his instrument thingy and started rapping loudly. The rap sounded really good and it went perfectly with Shazams country singing and guitar and Fags flue. Iggy started raping, Shazam played his country music and sang and did the guitar, and Fag blew the flute. It sounded fucking fantastic.  
"Bravo" said a voice then Emma, Angle, Nudge and Gassy came out of the closet where they had bean eavesdropping on the music. "UNCURE!"  
So they did a uncure and played more music. Iggy Azalea rapped hotly and Shazam sang to her with country music.  
"Trash the hotel  
Let's get drunk on the mini bar  
Make the phone call  
Feels so good getting what I want  
Yeah, keep on turning it up  
Chandelier swinging, we don't give a fuck" said Iggy.  
"Forget your high society, I'm soakin' it in Kerosene  
Light 'em up and watch them burn, teach them what they need to learn HA!" said jimmy and he played the guitar.  
Everyone crapped.  
"FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" said Shazam an he jumped off the stage into the crowd, except there werent enough people in the crowd to do it, he fell down and broke his arm.  
"Shit"


	5. The infirmary

Sorry i havent write in a long time I am busy

Crater 5 The infirmary  
He had to go to the infirmary which was basically a closet in the house with a bed and TV and some hospital shit, the hospital sucked the TV wasnt even cable. Max was the doctor because they didnt have a real doctor because they lived out in the middle of nowhere. he was a fucking terrible doctor. "Ha-ha, look who broke there arm" he said and threw on a steel cast mad of metal that Shazam couldnt even move his arm. "Fucker" Then he adjusted the bed too a uncomfortable position and put the TV in QVC and Shazam couldnt even fucking change it so he had to listen to some fucking old lady talking about her dress for 400000 hours. Max laughed lunatically and left he room and didnt come back.  
"fuck you" screamed Shazam after him but he didnt cum back.  
He was trapped there for 400 hours having to listen to QVC also he had to pee really bad. His but hurt from having to pee. He was hungry but there was nothing to eat but himself. So he was bored out of his mind. (kind of like when I have too go to my grandmas house because the only fucking tv shows he watched are qvc and home shopping netweork I FUCKING HATE THEM and the couch it uncomfortable and its made out of like wool fabric or some shit and the only foods there is to eat is the 1000000000000 year old candy DONT FUCKING EAT THAT SHIT it gives the WORST FUCKIN stomachache in history. ugh. and she has 9 cats. I HATE CATS.)  
Then.  
Fag came in the room.  
"Hey" said Fag  
"FUCKING GET ME OUT OF HERE" said Shazam. So fag untied him and took of the steel metal cast and. "Who the fuck did this too you?"  
"fucking Max, hes such a bitch, he thought it would be funny to do this"  
"Ill fucking kill him" swore Fag  
"Why does he hate me so much"  
"He and I used to date, hes fucking jealous that we fucking spend so much time together" said Fag "I mean its not even like where dating or anything are we?"  
"NO" said Jimmy because he liked gurls.  
"Its like that song crazy ex girlfriend except hes a guy" said Fag then he started to sing crazy ex girlfriend but with guy nouns instead of girl nouns. "I watched him for awhile but I didn't like him walk  
S he came across kinda cheap to me  
But hey hows that my fault  
he looked at my man like he didn't have on a stitch  
Somebody tell that dude  
To step up to that plate  
I wanna Pitch  
Little Bitch"  
Shazam played the guitar too it and sang also. Then when they stopped singing Shazam said "so tell me how did you get your wings."  
"Wel...its hard and i kinda dont remember" said Fag looking all thoughtful like. "It was a long time ago it ahppened when I was five" Shazam had a stirring some memory but he didnt really remember anything because heh ad amnesia of htings that had happend when he was five "I remember some guys grabbed me then did surgery and stuff and put the wings on my body and then one day I realized I could fry" He took off his shirt again and flew some more. Shazam watched "And thats all I remember"  
Shazam was remembering more stuff "Hey I think i got a sugary once"  
"Really"  
"yes"  
"I dont remember what port of my body t was thoguh" he said thoguhtfullt. "maybe it was on my guy parts and i got a enlargement surgery and thats why there so big." He could see fags eyes lighting up and Fag was getting a thingy so he quickly stoped talking about it though because he didnt like guys. and he didnt want Fang to fall in love with him."So whats for dinner"  
"MCDONALDS" said Fag then laughed "just kidding we had that for breakfast, and, lunch, too. Nope where going out to a fancy place for dinner to celebrate youre first day here where going to...APPLEBEES!"  
Tehy went to applebees except they got free food for doing a performance. They went up on the stage and did a song Iggy had to disguise her voice so they wouldnt know who she was. Everyone got lots of applause but shazam got the most because his singing was sad and soulful as he sung a song by miranda lambert "You can't have a heart like mine  
But you can hold it for a while  
and when the lights go out  
I won't be around  
You can't have a heart like mine "  
All the gurls in the crowd started crying because they were secretly in love with him and they wanted to have his heart. But shazam could not be caught he went back to his table and ate some food and some hot gurls came over to his table to ask for his "autograph"  
"Hey can we have your autograph" they said.  
"Hhmm." "NO".  
"But why not where in love with you"  
"Because my heart is already been taken" He was thinking of a hot girl who he was in love with but had rejected his heart so many times that it didnt even matter any more "You know what it doest even matter any more" He took the whole lot of them home with him and they had a 27-some because there were 27 gurls. All the gurls nearly had hart attacks because Jimmys sex was so good but Shazam got no pleasure from it because he could only think of one person. When he went to bed finally he was sad and lonely and played some music by Carry underwood which he didnt like as much as miranda lambert so it was sad to match his feelings. He went to slep.


End file.
